Thursday, July 24, 2008

Need Fresh Air

Thesedays I feel so exhuasted since everything is mixed up. I'm studying English together with GMAT to apply for MBA. The due date is Septermber 1st and I do not have much time. I'm attending GMAT workshop at night for four hours and I'm studying English bewteen two classes. I wanted to study both at the same time.... however, I think it's overwhelm.... I'm too tired to do both of them at the same time, and I think my body cannot cope with them. My pimpled started to come out of my face and my mouth is upset. For more than two weeks, I can have hardly eaten and it has spreaded to my lips at last. I put some antiseptic on my lips and my lips were blown up. I hate to show myself to other people. Unfortunately, I have classes to attend and I do not want to miss any of them.

Sometimes, I feel I have too strong desire. Whenever I want to acheive something, I'm too eager to do. I do not look back the past and I only look forward until I realize how badly I draw myself into. I'm completely preoccupied with my goal. I cannot help with that. But now, I can feel my brain is dying... -.-;; I cannot think actively and I cannot find out what I should do at this point. I cannot not focus on any of them.

Last Tuesday, I asked my friend who studies GMAT with me to take me home. I needed someone about my age to talk with other than my husband. She's always nice person to talk and she always understands my situation. She suggested me to take more relax. If I'm too tired, there is higher chance to give up. I know I won't give up, but my body would drag me to give up. I shouldn't let it happen.

I decided to focus on studying English since it's the most important now, but I'm going to attend GMAT class as well since there is two more classes to attend now. I'll put off studying GMAT for a while and will contribute most of my time in English.

I really hated studying when I was young, but I really like it now.
I can feel it fills my brain and quench my thirsty of knowledge.


Most of my friends and families were worried when I told them I would go to Canada to study with my husband since giving up all the work, I'm kind of old to study without earning any money. But I knew, I cannot do two things at the same time. When I worked, I spend almost my time to work and I could not split my time to do other things.

I had been too hectic to work for 10 years, and I had decided to give a vacation for me, so I decided to study.

Ah... how stupid I am... I already know I cannot do two things at the same time... how come I tried again this time.....

When I first got here, my English was messed up. I could not speak correctly and my writing was full of nonsenses. I still need a lot of work to improve my English, but I can feel gradually, my English is improving.

To move forward, I'll restart my engine. For a while, I'll not think of anything else.. won't think about the due date, won't think about GMAT score....

I'm here now..... Present is the most important. Future is dependant on the present. No one can change his life in the future, but in the present.

My MOTO is "Do not look back, do not regret!! Think all the possibilites before you decide, and do not look back. The other way you did not choose looks always better. But it's not. If you start to regret, whatever you choose, you always regret!! Eventhough you fail, you would learn something from it. Next time, when you choose the same way, that time, you will not fail since you know what made you fail."

Life is complicated, but we can design our lives. Whatever we dream, we can achieve if we really do hard.

For a moment, I'm depressed.. but like Morie said, I'm going to enjoy this for a while. Then I'll get out of here soon after I enjoy this fully.....

NEED MORE ENERGY THESEDAYS~ ^^

1 comment:

Don said...

As I said, I think it was a good decision not to try to do both at the same time. The GMAT is interesting to study, but it's not necessarily easy to get a good score -- and if you have enough real work experience, it's not necessary to get a REALLY good score.

So, now you may have a little bit of a chance to relax, eh?

Find something to do that gives you energy! (That's what I find myself doing, from time to time: I havge to stop and assess my day-to-day life, and see if I'm doing the things that I know leave me with a net increase in energy. If I'm not careful I can find myself getting drained . . .)